First dates can be pretty stressful. On his side, there may be high expectations of doing everything perfectly to secure the affections of a woman. This can layer on the pressure with each passing moment of the rendezvous, especially for men looking for a serious partner. Women can be pretty difficult to read but there are several telling signs that can be gathered from observing body language. Take the guessing out of the equation of (“Does she like me or not?”) by paying attention to the following signs during the courting stage.
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Body language is more telling than verbal conversation, and there are several body language signs that should be taken into account when deciding if a woman is worth the investment or if moving on to the next option is best.
What She Does: If a woman plays with her hair while in conversation with you it is a sign that she is interested in you (women always want to make sure their appearance is appealing to men they are interested in).
Pay attention to the direction her body is facing while you are together.
Keeping close bodily contact, facing her body towards you and touching you in light ways during laughter or casual convo are all affirming body language signals to let you know she is interested. If you see any of these affirming signs you are in a good place.
Some of these signs are blatant, however, when blinded by a woman’s beauty and caught up in the nervousness of doing everything right to impress this woman, these signs can be looked over.
We are all extremely too attached to our mobile devices these days, but if she is paying more attention to her phone during the date than she pays to you, chances are her interests in you are slim.
What She Does: If she consistently taps her foot, she may be in a hurry to get the date over and done with, which is also a display of her lack of interest. Taking multiple sighs of breath, sitting with crossed arms, frequent trips to the bathroom and consistent complaining are also signs that this date may be the first and last.
Verbal conversation gives insight into a person’s mind and interests.
By listening to how she responds to certain statements, current affairs, or how she follows the conversation, you can gather a solid conclusion about how her mind works and what her interests are.
Opposites attract, but sometimes brilliant thinkers and conversationalists don’t pair up too well with those who have limited vocabulary or a narrowed scope of subjects.
What She Does: Does she talk about one subject too much? Do you name drop a lot? Using active listening skills and asking the right questions can help you to determine if her personality and mindset pair up well with your own.
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The eyes are the window to the soul and by observing what her eyes are doing during the date you can take a peek into her inner thoughts. Eye movement and placement during conversation can reveal what is on a person’s mind and their emotional state.
What She Does: Swift shifting of the eyes in different directions can denote nervousness, looking to the upper left denotes dishonesty, the rolling of the eyes can denote annoyance or frustration and of course, direct eye contact actually signifies an interest.
There are many interpretations of eye movements in body language, but the key is to be observant and determine what unspoken truths the eyes are telling you.
Dating can become a stressful process, but by paying attention to these signs and others, men will lessen their chances of wasting time with women who may only be interested in the entertainment of the night out and not the romantic potential of the union. Pay attention to the signs early in order to find a true match.
If she makes comments that generalize you—about your background, interests, masculinity, or culture—it’s a red flag.
Examples:
These may seem small, but they often signal deeper biases that can show up later.
Jokes that feel like jabs aren’t jokes—they’re previews.
If she:
…it’s worth paying attention. Respect should be present from the beginning, not something you earn over time.
A healthy date should feel like a two-way exchange. If she:
…it may signal self-centeredness or low emotional investment.
If the conversation leans heavily toward:
…and not who you are, that can indicate transactional intentions rather than genuine interest.
Watch how she interacts with:
Disrespect toward others is one of the most reliable predictors of future behavior in a relationship.
If she:
…it shows a lack of respect for boundaries—a major red flag.
Everyone has a past—but if the date turns into a vent session about:
…it can signal unresolved issues that may carry into your relationship.
Pay attention to alignment:
Early inconsistency rarely improves later.
If she’s dismissive, ignorant, or insensitive about Black culture, experiences, or issues that affect you—that’s not something to overlook. You shouldn’t have to shrink or explain your identity to be accepted.
Sometimes it’s not what’s said—it’s what you feel. If something feels:
Don’t ignore it. Your intuition is data.
Glamazon Tyomi is a freelance writer, model and sex educator with a deeply rooted passion for spreading the message of sex positivity and encouraging the masses to embrace their sexuality. Her website, www.sexperttyomi.com, reaches internationally as a source for advice and information for the sexually active/curious. Follow her on Twitter at @glamazontyomi.
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