“They hating on me!”
“They always be trying to hold a brother down!”
“Haters are going to hate!”
“They won’t let me be great”
Those are all common phrases that some use to justify why someone or a group of people have an unfavorable opinion of them or their activities. The term “haters” has become popular in the last few years to describe others, but can you actually “hate” on yourself?
The short answer is YES!
Sometimes, with our actions, we shoot ourselves in the foot by having a “victim mentality.”
Now, don’t get us wrong. We know there are races of people that hate us. We know that there is institutional racism. We see and feel the real and figurative foot on our necks every day. But does that give us a reason to stop going for greatness?
Do you realize who you are? You are descendants of Kings, Queens, and royalty. You are creators, inventors, builders and innovators. You don’t have to take from anyone else, because you create it!
Do you know someone who seems to become a victim in nearly every situation? A victim mentality is sometimes called victim syndrome or a victim complex.
The victim mentality usually relies on three key beliefs:
A. Bad things happen and will keep happening.
B. Other people or circumstances are to blame.
C. Any efforts to create change will fail, so there’s no point in trying.
RELATED: 5 Ways to Love Yourself All Year Long: Body, Mind, and Soul
The idea of the victim mentality is thrown around a lot in pop culture and casual conversation to refer to people who seem to wallow in negativity and force it upon others.
People who feel trapped in a state of victimization often express a lot of negativity, but it’s important to
realize significant pain and distress often fuel this mindset.
Yes, things can be bad, but in every situation, we have a choice in how we see it, view and whether or not we take it.
If you are constantly comparing what you have or don’t have to what others do or don’t have, then you may be borderline hating on yourself. Comparisons may ignite low self-esteem and depression, which is one of the top five reasons relationships end.
Your inner voice, your conscience, or whatever you prefer to call it can be your saving grace for so many reasons.
Usually, your conscience is based on your mind and body’s history and best practices in each situation. Sometimes your natural reaction may not be your best reaction and your inner voice tells you to do differently. Listen.
One of the quickest ways to get “realistic” haters is to lie about who you truly are. Saying one thing and not following through gives a false representation of who you truly are. Don’t allow others the satisfaction of misinterpreting you. Give them the real “say-what-i-do-and-do-what-i-say” self.
We can sometimes be our own worst enemy. Saying that you “can’t” or that something “never” happens to you is speaking to your own downfall.
Use words like “I can” and “I will” to verbally affirm your current and future positions. Research has shown that those who visualize their goal consistently are 33 percent more likely to achieve those goals.
Be honest with yourself: are people really “hating” on you or are they telling you the truth? Sometimes the truth hurts, but can lead to healing. It may do you good to take a look at what the person says (not how they say it) and see if it’s true. If it’s true, do what you need to do to be better. If it’s false, do what you need to do to stay strong.
Remember, announcing that you have haters rarely does anything to help your case, as nearly everyone has haters nowadays. The differentiating factor is how you rise above despite your obstacles.
Newsflash: Nothing (and I mean NOTHING) will ever be perfect for you to start something. You just have to start! Stop waiting until you have everything together or until next year, next month, or even next week, start now.
Visit the BlackDoctor.org Mental Health center for more articles and tips.
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