Sex can sometimes seem like a competition or a sport, where couples approach the bed like a boxing ring. As soon as they jump into the sheets they are switching positions frequently, grinding aggressively and maybe even using a few holds here and there to affix a little pain that causes pleasure. With the Bondage and Discipline, Sadism and Masochism (BDSM)/fetish genre of sexuality becoming mainstream due to the popularity of the erotic novel “Fifty Shades of Grey,” kinkier sex has been in trend, leading many to experiment with sex that is a lot rougher than the average they may be used to. The body is pretty resilient when it comes to absorbing falls, bumps or tackles, but when it comes to bumping pelvises, is rough sex all that healthy?
This is a question that many who are novices in the area of sexual experimentation ask when looking to improve their sex lives, and of course, the answer isn’t straight forward. Rough sex is really subjective, so the level of roughness or pressure will be different for every person. Everyone has a different threshold of pain, so there is no real way to gauge what “too rough” sex would be. Also, the vagina is very resilient and flexible, consisting of muscles that can expand and stretch to fit something the size of a baby’s head. When it comes to the question of is this type of sex healthy or not there are some instances where the genitals may be in danger.
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The pleasure derived from BDSM is in the loss of control that comes with submission as well as in the rush of power that comes with domination. With BDSM, partners can take turns being “the powerful” and “the powerless” in the bedroom.
It’s absolutely crucial that each step in a BDSM environment be met with a consensual agreement to proceed. Forceful BDSM sex can be physically and psychologically taxing, so it’s important that couples have high levels of trust and compassion before delving into it.
Here’s 3 Ways To Make Rougher-type Sex Healthy
1. Talk about it first – studies have shown that mutual conversations about sexual topics can not only heighten your sexual performance, but also eliminate barriers that prevent reaching more powerful orgasms
2. Express your likes – If you agree on what type of “rough” sex you’d like to do, don’t forget to express to your partner what feels good. This will help ease the tension that you and possibly your partner have for the first few times of engaging in this type of activity.
3. Prepare – exercise, stretch, etc. Preparation can take you a long way when it comes to rough sex. Some prep make include drinking more fluids or no fluids at all. Whatever it is, do your homework and prepare.
The most common reason why sex can sometimes be painful for women is because of a lack of natural lubrication in the vagina before penetration. Some women are ready and aroused in 10 seconds while others need a little more time to become…
… relaxed and open to the feel the flow of sexual energy. In this case, having rough sex before a vagina is ready will cause pain and sometimes even tearing. This can be prevented by the use of foreplay. Erotic massage, speaking intimately, using sex toys or taking a bath together are great forms of foreplay that will help the vagina lubricate and make the sexual experience more enjoyable.
When it comes to rough sex affecting men, there have been rare occasions where the blood vessels of the penis ruptured because of too much pressure during sex from an overzealous sex position gone wrong, or testicle injury, but all of this can be avoided by learning the proper sexual technique.
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In the grand scheme of things, sex that is more aggressive can be healthy as long as it isn’t hurting anyone involved and the boundaries of comfort are respected.
Visit the BlackDoctor.org Relationship center for more articles.
Glamazon Tyomi is a freelance writer, model and sex educator with a deeply rooted passion for spreading the message of sex positivity and encouraging the masses to embrace their sexuality. Her website, www.sexperttyomi.com, reaches internationally as a source for advice and information for the sexually active/curious. Follow her on Twitter at @glamazontyomi.
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