(BlackDoctor.org) — Whoever said, “A bed is for sleeping”? Probably either someone sleeping alone or someone who’s relationship is in a bit of a rut. Just imagine – you reach for your partner laying next to you in the darkness – heart racing, blood pumping – only for them to fall asleep on you! Who wants to deal with that kind of rejection? No one! Unfortunately for millions of couples, when it comes to sex, this has become their sad rule rather than the exception.
If you and your mate have fallen into this sexual rut, here are five tips to help you break the cycle, starting tonight.
Take the TV Out of the Bedroom
In the age of DVR’s, Netflix, etc., it’s easy to become perpetually distracted. Removing the television from your bedroom will allow you to focus on finding other ways of entertaining yourself. If you’re too lazy to move it, or if you think it’s just too taxing to lug it out of the room, it may be a good idea to at least agree to unplug occasionally (just in case you happen to get tempted to reach for the remote out of habit or in a moment of weakness).
As an added bonus: You and your partner can up the ante a notch by agreeing to “consequences” if the “no tv ban” is broken. These consequences should involve doing something special for, or to, your partner – the more intimate (and creative) the better. Before long, you may find that the tv in the bedroom gets just as much use as that TV informercial exercise gadget you just had to buy!
Take A Shower Before Sliding in Between the Sheets
What could be more inviting than “painting” a fresh, clean canvas? Taking a shower before climbing into bed will not only relax you and help you “wash away the day,” but it will give you the confidence and comfortability to allow your partner to explore, pamper and pleasure every curve and contour of your body. Stock up on soaps, bubbles, oils, and lotions, etc. in some of you and your partner’s favorite scents. Allow yourself to not only enjoy the downtime that comes with a nice, hot bath or shower, but also let your imagination run wild with all that the rest of the evening’s potential.
To maximize the pleasure: Invite your partner to join in on your bath time fun. Ask them to wash your back or your hair, from head to toe, in exchange for you doing the same for them.
Go Commando
Sleeping in the nude increases the opportunities for physical intimacy between you and your partner. As you’re lying there, side by side the two of you won’t be able to help but be aroused by the feel of their skin rubbing against yours and the heat generated between the two of you.
For added affect: Consider disrobing in front of one another (if you’re too shy or too embarrassed, it’s okay to just make it a partial stripdown). Watching your partner get naked and then climb under the covers, eagerly awaiting you to join them is sure to heighten both of your senses. Also, experimenting with the textures of your bed linens can enhance the stimulating affects. Lying on sheets made of materials like silks and extra-soft cottons will invigorate the senses.
Crash Before You Crash
Don’t wait until you’re absolutely exhausted before climbing into bed. Instead, try sliding in between the sheets while you still have enough energy to either initiate love making with your partner or, at the very least, be able to reciprocate the love and affection that they shower upon you. This may require you to pace yourself throughout the day, or to be a little more conscious of time as the evening draws near.
For added success: This may also require you to reevaluate how the workload in your home is divvied up as well, as it wouldn’t make much sense for you to expect to make love if one of you comes home to relax with a nice hot meal, while the other one bears the burden of prepping the meal, cleaning, helping the kids, and all sort of other chores. Most men and women (especially women), will tell you that having their partner share the chores actually feels like a form of foreplay. Who ever would have thought that taking out the trash or changing a diaper would be sexy?
Make An Appointment
Lastly, while many people argue that scheduling sex takes away from the spontaneity of the encounter, that notion is simply a myth. Scheduling sex simply means that you and your partner make it a priority to carve out time for intimacy – time that both of you are already wanting anyway. By agreeing to set aside time for sex, not only do you and your partner ensure that your desires for sexual intimacy are fulfilled, but you are communicating to one another that giving (and receiving) physical intimacy is just as important to you as everything else you are able to make time for in your day.
Remember: For many of today’s couples, setting aside time for sex may be the only way to put the two of you in the same place, at the same time, with your minds aligned to the same purpose for any significant amount of time. When you think of all the possibilities, why reserve time this special simply for sleeping?
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