“If I had one drink I’d probably be all over you.”
Him, one finger raised, “Waiter!”
I decided to be celibate over 2 years ago. It was a personal choice I made for myself, years in the making. I had reached a point in my life where my energy just flowed from me.
In the famous words of Maxine Waters, it was time for me too, “Reclaim my time”.
So, I, being of sound mind and good character, decided to buckle down and do the work.
I had my cheerleaders behind me, pushing me forward, towards the mark. They would consistently remind me all throughout that first year, what I was doing and why. That this, right here, was about getting back to me. This was my Self-Care.
You see, Early on, being a church girl, I knew that I wanted to
wait until I was married. It sounded like such a beautiful thing, one man, and one woman. I looked at life, as a young girl with pigtails, through rose-colored glasses ( literally). I wore glasses that were the color of roses in the 3rd grade. I had no idea what the word, “Virgin” meant and I truly loved my life.
I began to hear whisperings of other girls, “doing IT” in 7th and 8th grade. I shied away from those girls. Then, the noise appeared to surround me in High School. That was the “thing” to do and I was definitely looked down upon by not partaking. Surprisingly, or not, almost all of my critics were girls.
Fast forward to today and, I have had my fair share of serious relationships. Boys and then Men were always trying to get me to be exclusive with them. (This is My truth). My guy cousin teased me once saying, “You stay in a relationship”. I’m like, “Bro, they keep coming for me”. Seriously.
Now, though, it was time for me to take care of myself. I needed to leave a relationship that was no longer serving me. I was not operating at my highest level inside of it. There were things I learned while inside of it. I needed to grow myself.
Slowly I began to pour back into myself. I attended church and Bible Study. I picked up my Word more often than before. I went to Counseling. I watched “War Room” at least 30 times in 1 year. I turned off my T.V. and began to Journal. I also surrounded myself with Godly counsel. And I prayed, a lot.
I didn’t know it at the time, but everything I was
doing was investing in my Self-Care. I found concrete ways to become and maintain Celibacy. I now teach Master classes on it called, “Tool-kit for Celibacy”. I am doing a Nationwide Tour with the classes this Summer, 2018. Hopefully in a city near you.
I spent years pouring back into myself, investing in my self care, and learning my purpose. I became a Book Author. I took a Solo trip to Hawaii in January 2017 with the sole purpose to write. From that singular act of submission, the floodgates opened in my life. I am peaceful because I am working in my Purpose, Celibate, and trusting what is next to come in my life.
I have created a clear path for a new relationship. Yes, there will still be ups and downs. Yes, I stumble in the area of “feminine grace”. My whole desire though is to do what is pleasing to God and to honor and respect my future husband.
So, if that means not drinking to remain alert and aware when on dates, so be it, I think, as I calmly tug his hand out of the air, and fully explain my truth, as it exists.
Every time I make what looks like a small decision, such as not to drink until after I’m married, I am investing in my choice of Celibacy, Self-Care, and am closer to my Purpose.
*Excerpts are taken from the upcoming book, “I’m Everyone’s Type”; which is available for Pre-Order on Amazon.com “The Sprinkle of Love: Master Classes on Celibacy” Summer 2018 Tour Dates and Locations can be found at www.thesprinkleoflovetour.com
Register Today!
Kenyatta Scott is the Creator of The Sprinkle of Love, The Violet Book Series, and a Graduate of Adler School of Professional Psychology. She has an M.A. in Industrial-Organizational Psychology and is a Member of Chicago’s D2F 40 Under 40. Connect with Kenyatta on Instagram, @kenyattascott_
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