Usually, when people think about the holidays, they conjure images of happiness when spending time with friends and loved ones. However, that’s not the case for everyone. For one in five people, the holidays bring crippling anxiety that makes it hard for them to enjoy family gatherings. To make matters worse, the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) reports that Black Americans have a 20 percent higher chance of experiencing holiday anxiety than other ethnicities. Given that Black people are also less likely to tend to their mental health, the holidays can cause even more distress.
While some people have good memories of family get-togethers on the holidays, not everyone is that fortunate. Some people experience heightened tension and a higher likelihood of conflict when they attend family gatherings. The causes of the conflict may vary, but some possible issues can include politics, religion, financial problems, and relationships. Knowing that butting heads with family members is inevitable can give you anxiety about attending.
Another potential cause of holiday anxiety is having to host the gathering. According to a survey by the American Psychological Association (APA), planning and hosting family get-togethers are a high source of stress. This issue also affects women more than men as they report being more likely to bear the brunt of the responsibilities during that time. They also have to juggle planning the holidays with their other responsibilities at home and in the workplace. It can lead to them being stretched thin.
The holidays also invite a higher financial burden which causes anxiety when you don’t have enough money to go around in the first place. In fact, up to 69 percent of those who reported being anxious during holidays attribute it to not having enough money to do what they would like to. You may also have additional anxiety from needing to interact with a lot of people at a time, traveling large distances to be with family, and feeling as if you don’t have enough time to do everything that needs to be done.
Many people identify being anxious about living up to the expectations of the holidays as a big issue. Planning the perfect family gathering typically involves investing a lot of time, energy, and money into meals, decorations, travel, and accommodations. If you’re hosting, you may be expected to cater to everyone’s needs to ensure that all your guests have a good time. While that may be admirable, it can take a toll if you’re not taking care of yourself.
Before you can do anything about holiday anxiety, though, you need to know how to identify the symptoms. This type of anxiety is slightly different from generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), which affects some people. If you’ve never dealt with anxiety before, you may think that something is very wrong.
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Depending on your family traditions, there may be several events associated with the holidays. If your anxiety is linked to the time of year, you may find yourself dreading these specific events or feeling stressed about having to plan and attend them. With GAD, you would be intensely worried about multiple things – including holiday planning.
With GAD, you are likely to be worried about money in general. If it’s the holidays that are giving you anxiety, you’ll be concerned about how much money you’re specifically spending on the holidays. You may also worry about the quality of the gifts you’ll be able to give.
If you snap at people or have to fight hard to squash your irritation when they bring up the holidays, you may be dealing with holiday anxiety. It’s common for those with this form of anxiety to not want to talk about holiday events anymore. While you’ll still attend the events, you will avoid them if you have GAD.
Holiday anxiety can sometimes get bad enough to affect your physical health. You may notice that you have muscle tension and headaches that only last during the holidays. By comparison, GAD can cause physical issues all year. Those who have the condition may complain about chronic nausea, stomach ache, muscle pain, and headaches.
As bad as the anxiety may be, you’ll still be able to function. You may feel stressed but it won’t be so overwhelming that you can’t do what you’ve set out to. That’s an integral difference between holiday anxiety and GAD.
If you’ve felt this way during the holidays before, then you may be telling yourself that you just need to get through it. That’s because once the festivities are over, people with holiday-based anxiety start to feel better. Those dealing with GAD don’t get that kind of relief.
It’s easy to think that you don’t need to do anything to manage holiday anxiety. However, the continued stress can have a lasting effect on your physical and mental health. Additionally, studies show that most people opt for unhealthy coping mechanisms to help them deal with the anxiety of the holidays. Based on the APA’s study up to 41 percent of people turn to food for relief while another 28 percent prefer alcohol. Indulging in either of these can influence how you deal with anxiety or stress outside of the holidays as well, which can affect your health.
One way to ensure that the holidays don’t get overwhelming is to keep things simple. Holiday celebrations don’t have to be complicated or extravagant to be enjoyable. While planning for the holidays, it also helps to delegate and make some time for yourself. If there are specific parts of the holidays that trigger anxiety, consider giving them to someone else, skipping them, or getting them over with as quickly as possible.
Instead of putting your health on the back burner, you need to make it a priority. You should make time to eat properly, sleep well, and stay physically active. If the holidays are becoming stressful, you need to step away and take some time for yourself.
To avoid becoming overwhelmed, you should make an intricate plan with your impending anxiety in mind. This detailed plan should include what you would like to do, what each task entails, and what you’ll do if your anxiety kicks in. Some of the things that can help to calm you include taking a break, having a hot bath, going for a walk, listening to some music, and taking a nap.
Finally, you can always choose your mental health over the holidays. There’s nothing wrong with saying ‘no’ to spending time with people who will cause you distress, traveling, or hosting. At the end of the day, the holidays are supposed to be enjoyable for everyone.
The holidays can be stressful and many people experience anxiety because of them. If it’s troubling you, find some healthy ways to cope with it. Though it’s tempting, you should never turn to overeating or alcohol to ease your anxiety. Where possible, it’s always better to avoid the anxiety-inducing gathering to save your mental health.
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