You Can’t Stop The Weather — But You Can Learn To Adjust Your Sails
One of the most disheartening parts of dealing with a chronic illness is experiencing a terrible flare after all the “correct” measures to manage your symptoms.
You may continue to blame yourself whenever your pain returns, even after engaging with health coaches and pain psychologists for extended periods, reading a plethora of books, and cultivating a robust mindfulness practice.
Your mind may be wrecked by these continual thinking cycles. Like a game of chess, it might seem hopeless at times. Realizing this and letting go of the guilt and self-blame can help you recover from this mindset.
Feeling “at blame” for your terrible suffering adds gasoline to the flames of frustration, shame, overthinking, and humiliation. Deceptively useful mental armament that is not what it seems.
Feeling bad about yourself and wasting energy judging yourself for what you may or might not have done to trigger a flare is a vicious cycle after all the work you’ve put into reducing symptoms that are out of your control.
RELATED: If I Have Psoriasis, Am I Going To Get Psoriatic Arthritis?
Nearly every time you catch yourself engaging in the “no-win, self-blame game,” practicing self-compassion will help you break free.
For others, the idea of practicing self-compassion as a means of overcoming intense pain seems like an attempt to downplay the severity of their suffering rather than an effective strategy for managing their symptoms. It was too “woo-woo” or “fluffy,” and you might fight against the suggestion that being gentler with yourself might alleviate your suffering.
Although practicing self-compassion may not alleviate suffering or resolve all of your issues, you’ll discover that it does help to soften their edges.
Within the context of severe chronic pain, practicing self-compassion may help you let go of the hyper-critical resistance and the want to assign blame.
Similar to how yelling at the sky during a storm won’t change its direction, trying to find out what you “did wrong” when experiencing a flare-up of a chronic ailment won’t alleviate the agony you’re now experiencing.
When severe discomfort strikes, you may never be able to break the habit of thinking about what went wrong and how you are to blame. After years of practicing mindfulness, self-compassion, and acceptance, you come to terms with the fact that it’s OK.
Those kinds of ideas are quite normal, and how you react to them is the key to controlling them. If you want to make it through life with a chronic condition more easily, you don’t have to get rid of it entirely.
The most important thing is to make it a habit to practice self-compassion regularly.
The important thing is to be able to sense the storm raging within you, to be aware of the mental and emotional winds that are attempting to throw you off balance, and to make an effort to calm down consciously despite the physical manifestations of the storm.
Know that at every moment, you have a fresh opportunity to notice that despite every weather system or obstacle of my life, the inhales and exhales you take are working steadily to draw you through to calmer circumstances. This is something that you should keep in mind at all times.
While the storm is passing through the territory, it is your responsibility to keep in mind to connect with that ever-present anchor as often as you can. It is to serve as a gentle reminder that with each breath you take, you have the opportunity to receive compassion, and with each breath you take, you have the opportunity to choose to let go of even the least bit of resistance.
By subscribing, you consent to receive emails from BlackDoctor.com. You may unsubscribe at any time. Privacy Policy & Terms of Service.
