By now, you’ve seen the various headlines of “Kanye West said this,” and “Kanye West did that,”—I don’t think we need to catch up on that part so let’s start from what happened next. What followed from those headlines was a major divide in the internet, the commentary, and of course the people controlling the social media accounts bashing and defending Mr. West. The loudest social media debate: Should we trade Kanye to another team (the same way Stacy Dash was traded for Gary Owen) OR should we simply #CancelKanye.
I scrolled through social media reading comments and became more and more disappointed in the reactions that I was seeing—the lack of compassion I was seeing…but then, it hit me. THIS is a Black man.
We, as black people, understand mental health when it’s a white male involved in a mass shooting, but we have yet to fully grasp the idea and image of mental health affecting our own, especially our men. It’s hard for us to see our fathers, brothers, husbands, and cousins being tormented by the inner workings of their own minds—so we don’t.
We close our eyes to what they’re going through, and our mouths follow suit. When others begin to notice and show concern we bury their pain in words of concealment and jest. We don’t confront the mental health issue at hand, and thus leave our loved ones to suffer in silence. The same way we so easily “Cancel Kanye,” is the same way we’ve canceled (insert your cousin’s name here).
It’s no secret, I’m a fan of West’s music, artistry, and petty demeanor. I could feel the pain in 808’s and see the scary shift from My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy to Yeezus. I could also feel the
relief in The Life of Pablo. In the past few days, Kanye released a song called, “Lift Yourself,” a two and a half minute song with lyrics that include “poopity scoop.”
Kanye’s mental health has been up and down for years, manifesting in a variety of ways, but we’ve laughed it off. If we want to be better, we have to do better. We don’t all have access to Kanye West, but we do have access to the Kanyes in our families and possibly right in our homes.
Below are 5 ways you can support loved ones while they battle mental health.
1. Educate yourself
The more you know about mental health and the battles your loved one is facing, the more empowered you’ll be in supporting them. Learn about the facts AND the myths of the illness they’re facing and have the conversation with other friends and family members about what you’ve learned. By learning and having conversations you’ll also be able to normalize mental health in your circles and remove the stigmas surrounding it.
2. Encourage them to see a mental health professional
Another taboo topic in our community is therapy. For a variety of reasons, we don’t want to
see therapists or have conversations about what’s affecting us. The reality is, if we want to get better, we have to open up and talk about “it.”—Whatever it is. Therapists offer a safe space to have unfiltered conversations about our past and present and work with us to create healthy thoughts and actions for the future.
3. Give Them Control and Be Patient
Often times, while battling mental illness, people feel like they’ve lost control over themselves. They begin to remove themselves from social settings and everyday activities. Conversely, because we know they’re not well we sometimes try to take over living FOR them. In both cases, it’s important that we encourage them to have control and make decisions, and be there for them if they’re not able to do something on their own. It’s a process and one that’s different from person to person. Patience is key.
4. Help Yourself
Caring for a loved one, in any capacity, can weigh on you. Be sure to replenish yourself through rest, relaxation, and reflection. Think of your loved one as a plant and yourself as a full glass of water. Every time you pour out to water them, you lose water in your glass. We want to keep watering them so they can grow, but we also have to make sure our glass stays full so we can pour out. Without rest, relaxation, and reflection our glass goes empty—and no one benefits from that
5. Offer Spiritual Support
I’m a firm believer that prayer works! Pray for and cover your loved ones. What we see happening physically is a reflection of what’s happening spiritually. We can fight the physical battle with therapy and loving support, but we can only fight the spiritual battle through prayer.
Bryana Holcomb is the Editor of BlackDoctor.org and graduate of the University of Illinois at Urbana Champaign. She has a Bachelor of Arts in Gender and Women’s Studies, an MBA in Management Strategy, and Life Coaching and Nutrition certifications. Connect with Bryana on Instagram, @BryDelicia.
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