How Can I Help My Child Cope with Peer Pressure?

Peer pressure, particularly negative social engagement, for kids these days is intense. You have the powerful influence of social media, music, social standards, and lack of respect for the word “no”. Although peer pressure can be both a negative and positive experience, parents must be observant and tuned in at all times in the social life of their children.

Kids are destined to give in to peer pressure at some point in their life. It is very important that parents invite and maintain an “open door” practice that fosters ongoing communication and non-judgmental conversation regarding their peer networks.

Having this type of relationship with a young child and teenager empowers them to confide in you and trust the advice and support you will give them.

Consistency is a key factor in how successful this relationship will be sustained.

RELATED: Top 5 Ways To Help Bully-Proof Your Child

From our partner

Do you still have gout symptoms even though you're taking medication? You’re not alone. The Kadence study is a clinical research study for adults with uncontrolled gout. Learn More

6 tips for handling peer pressure

Here are some essential factors parents should consider when helping their child respond to peer pressure:

Develop a close, open, and authentic relationship with your child so they will want to confide and emotionally invest in this connection with you.

Educate your child on what peer pressure looks like in both positive and negative types to ensure they understand appropriate social behaviors. Let them know peer pressure happens throughout life and that it is normal to desire to fit in.

A balance of feedback should be evident, so your child can see that you are acknowledging when they demonstrate a positive and appropriate response to peer pressure as well as areas for improvement.

Plan regular and ongoing family activities. Remember, the family is the immediate and most frequent contact a child encounters. Parents who actively engage in quality time with their children help them develop close relationships and appropriate boundaries.

Stay connected and involved in your child’s social life. Yes, involved. Get to know and encourage friendships in positive social settings. Know where they are and what they are doing.

Ask questions and have conversations about their day not just academically but socially as well.

BE emotionally invested in their life. Your child must feel and experience that you care about their social connections and activities with their peers.

From our partner

People 16+ years old struggling with lupus: Find out if the PHOENYCS FLY Study may be for you. Study-related care provided at no cost.

Other things to consider

It is also important to note that peer pressure can come forms other than the friends they make at school. What you allow your children to watch, listen to, etc. can also play a role in whether or not they fall victim to peer pressure. You can monitor these influences by:

• Limiting your child’s exposure to TV and the internet. Consider your child’s age and other responsibilities (homework, job, family time) to decide on how much time he or she should be allowed to watch TV or explore the internet.
• Monitoring what your child watches or views on the internet. Ratings are available for TV, movies, and video games. You can see your child’s internet search history on a computer. You can also check your child’s phone to see what apps he or she has downloaded.
• Learning more about the music your child listens to. Some song lyrics can send powerful, negative messages.
• Securing your home’s TV and online devices. Most cable, internet, and cell phone providers have parent control settings that restrict inappropriate material from children. Be sure to find out what’s available in your home and with your child’s phone.
• Monitoring your child’s electronic use at their friend’s homes or when friends bring electronic devices to your home (laptops, tablets, phones). Talk with their parents. Tell your child what is and what is not allowed.

Kimberly Thomas, Ed. D. in Counseling Psychology is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor in Chicago, Illinois. She specializes in Partner Violence Intervention, Substance Use Disorders, and Anger Management. Her volunteer work includes helping build faith-based community programs, workshops, and community awareness campaigns. When Dr. Thomas is not working, she enjoys being a mother, singing and attending retreats.