How to Help a Child in Depression: 8 Pieces of Advice

If you have a young adult under your roof, you’re probably familiar with moodiness, vague responses when trying to engage in conversation, sleeping late into the day, and using their mobile devices as an extension of their arms over time with family.  

It’s not unusual to see this with most teens but these behaviors can also point to depression. According to Psychiatry.org, depression is a common and serious medical illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think, and how you act. Fortunately, it is also treatable.

Depression causes feelings of sadness and/or a loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed. It can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems and can decrease your ability to function at work and at home.

Depression symptoms can vary from mild to severe and can include:

• Feeling sad or having a depressed mood
• Loss of interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed
• Changes in appetite — weight loss or gain unrelated to dieting
• Trouble sleeping or sleeping too much
• Loss of energy or increased fatigue
• Increase in purposeless physical activity (e.g., inability to sit still, pacing, hand-wringing) or slowed movements or speech (these actions must be severe enough to be observable by others)
• Feeling worthless or guilty
• Difficulty thinking, concentrating or making decisions
• Thoughts of death or suicide

Symptoms must last at least two weeks and must represent a change in your previous level of functioning for a diagnosis of depression.

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What are the best ways to communicate with a child who has depression?

1. Be honest and welcome it in return 

Privately, ask your teen pointed questions about some of the things you’ve noticed and give them space to answer honestly, without judgment. For example,

• “I’m wondering why you haven’t spent much time with your friends lately.”
• “I’m worried because you’re sleeping much more than usual.”
• “I’ve noticed you get angry so quickly these days.”

2. Actively listen

When they do start to let their guard down, use active listening to reinforce that they’re being heard. Put away anything that can distract you and tune in, completely. 

Depression sometimes makes people feel as if they’re burdening their loved ones and might cause them to misinterpret hesitation or other immediate priorities as a sign to back away completely. 

If you really can’t give them your undivided attention, explain why. For instance, “I want to give you my full attention, but I need to take care of this first. I’ll be done in about half an hour. Is that ok?”

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And remember once the conversation begins, DON’T INTERRUPT. It’s important to let them finish their thoughts and feel empowered to express themselves completely without interjection. 

3. Provide tangible support and encouragement 

While your compassion and empathy are extremely important, professional support is typically the best way to improve symptoms.

If therapy isn’t something they’re comfortable with at first, reach out to their school counselor, family pastor, or favorite teacher. They can help build a support network for your child so that they are more comfortable with the idea.

They might be more willing to consider therapy when other trusted adults they’re familiar with introduce the concept to them. It’s an added bonus if the other adults share that they’d utilized therapy themselves and share the positive results. 

We hope this helps the teen in your life!