Ever wonder what men REALLY want in a wife? You may think that you’re wifey material, but are you really? Psychologist, minister, and author Dr. Alduan Tartt reviewed the US Census data that detailed that close to 83 percent of Black women are married or have been married at least once by age 55 and over.
So get it out of your mind that there aren’t enough men out there. When it comes to finding love, commitment and marriage, there is hope, despite what you may have heard.
Black Americans overall have the lowest marriage rates among major racial groups in the U.S.
These trends are not about lack of desire for marriage—they’re shaped by structural, economic, and cultural factors.
Reality:
Many delay marriage until they feel financially prepared (“provider mindset”)
Entire communities feel the ripple effects.
Impact:
This affects matching and long-term partnership formation.
Marriage is often tied to:
Without those, marriage may be delayed or deprioritized.
Marriage is no longer the only marker of commitment.
Can influence:
Despite the stats:
The issue is often timing + circumstance, not lack of interest.
Despite the numbers, it seems like everybody is giving out dating and relationship advice these days. I know there is an abundance of men out there attempting to give you “tips” on how to become a better woman. But instead of hearing it from someone else, hear it from these husbands who took a survey of the top characteristics they wished for most in a spouse. Here’s what they said:
While it didn’t make the top five, honesty still is a trait that is very close to what men desire in a lifelong wife. Real men respect an honest woman. In fact, they yearn for one. A woman that possesses the ability to be open and honest about what she wants is one that can clearly articulate how she does and doesn’t feel. There’s nothing like it.
A few of the complaints from husbands we heard was that a woman would say one thing in order to get a reaction out of her man, but in reality, she doesn’t feel that. It’s those “games” that make men question if she is “the one” and want to move on.
In a world full of surface interaction your true honesty can be refreshing for him.
Can you satisfy a man’s desire for physical intimacy to his level of frequency and quality? Let’s face it, men want to marry a woman they are sexually attracted to.
One of the biggest complaints we see is that after marriage, many men complain that the beautiful, sexually-daring, freaky wife they dated before marriage, has changed into the whole housemate instead of combining the two.
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Are you fun? Can you play with him and make his world more fun with you in it? Can you go to a sports game, play golf, watch a movie, travel, and do other stuff together with you and him or his friends?
Can you be sociable in a number of different circles? For both sexes, this has been steadily moving up the list and become more important.
No man wants to be worried about the attitude his girlfriend or wife is going to give to the friend he is trying to introduce her to. He doesn’t want her to turn up her nose or be short with them – it is important that as his teammate in life, she is his teammate in all areas of life.
Because today’s married couples are more likely to be friends and have mutual circles of friends, it makes sense that this has become a more attractive characteristic.
Can you keep your attractiveness high with self-care so that he is able to brag about you to his friends and always desire you physically?
Women’s looks have become increasingly important to men over the years. The trait has jumped up on the list, from No. 15 back in the late 50s. Looks don’t usually make the top 10 list of what women want in a husband, but it has become more important to them over time too. Perhaps because modern marriages are more likely based on love and attraction rather than practicalities (like wealth or status), physical attractiveness has become more desirable for men.
Does that mean you have to look like an Instagram model all the time? No. Some men say they just want a woman who takes care of herself physically and wants to look good for him, not anyone else.
Can you run a home fairly well? Can you make sure the kids get their school work done, host family events, make sure the house looks nice, cook, nurture, etc? Many men are cool with domestic support sharing these days, by the way, but they don’t want to do it alone. Do you have a desire for home and children?
A woman’s desire for home and children has become less attractive to men over time. In 1939, men ranked it at No. 6. As women have increasingly achieved similar levels of education and career status, men may have begun to perceive them as more equal partners. How to divide the labor of home and work isn’t as obvious as it was to their grandparents’ generation.
RELATED: The Top 3 Mistakes Women Make When Dating Are…
It’s not just about if you can laugh at his jokes or not. Do you admire his business acumen, and appreciate what and who he is as a person and as a man, as well as what he stands for?
One of the worse things you can do is judge a man, especially when it comes to his past life before you. He isn’t asking for forgiveness; he’s merely seeking your acceptance. If he can become comfortable in divulging who he’s been, then you’ll never have to guess who he is.
Wow! What a list, right?
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