The blogs have been buzzing with news about Russell Wilson and Ciara’s official announcement of their relationship last Sunday, but it is the details of their bedroom interactions that have the Internet split in their views. According to the Seattle Seahawks Quarterback, the couple has decided to do things the “Jesus way” and abstain from sex.
During a Q&A session at San Diego’s The Roc Church, Wilson revealed the message God sent to him about his new found love, Ciara. “She was on tour; she was traveling,” Wilson begins. “She was in the dressing room getting ready to go before she went on stage, and she was sitting there, and God spoke to me and said, ‘I need you to lead her.’ And I was like, ‘Really?’ And He was like, ‘No, I want you to lead her.” So I told her, “What would you do if we took all of that extra stuff off the table and just did it Jesus’ way?’ And she was relieved.”
In a society that seems to be oversexualized, many can’t believe that these two young, attractive lovers aren’t getting it in whenever possible, but devout Christians are pleased to hear that the couple has entered into celibacy, led by their faith in the Almighty. Whether people agree or disagree with the couple’s decision, waiting to join with each other sexually is the best decision for a relationship in its early stages, and the benefits of abstinence are greater than what you may think.
Friendship is the base of any romantic relationship, but when sex is introduced too soon the desire to play can overshadow the need to build a solid foundation for the relationship to stand on. By removing sex from the equation early on, a couple can take the time to get to know each other outside of their sexual desires. Learning pet peeves, expressing dreams and desires, learning each other’s’ favorite pastimes and more are all possibilities when sex is reserved for when both partners decide the time is right. Russell and Ciara have only been an item for about six months and if a lifetime of commitment is where the couple is headed, they have a lifetime to explore each other sexually. Friendship before “freakship” is my motto.
Both Ciara and Russell have been through heartaches; Ciara recently going through a nasty public breakup with former fiancé, Future, and Russell experiencing divorce from his high school sweetheart. When entering into a relationship it is necessary to unload baggage from previous situations to give the new person a fighting chance. Both individuals will come into a relationship with their own set of issues that may place strain on what’s developing, and sex can compound those issues by adding the energy of previous lovers into the subconscious. Ciara and Russell are doing a great thing in holding off on sex to give each other the time to heal from previous trauma that may have gone unaddressed. Sex is always better when there are no boundaries or inhibitions creating restrictions.
Many often mistake intimacy with sexual activity, but in actuality intimacy is all about being completely open and honest with a person, allowing them to see your faults, your vulnerability and your innocence. When sex isn’t an option in a relationship, both partners have to face themselves intimately first to be able to open up in trust with their partners. Trusting a partner with your mind, heart and most intimate parts of your being makes trusting them with your body less complicated, and the sex is greater when trust is established and maintained.
Sex can bring with it false feelings of love and closeness because of the serotonin, oxytocin and other “feel good” chemicals that are released during the act. When a couple decides to abstain from sex, true love that binds partners together is allowed to permeate the foundation of the relationship. Unconditional love is the glue that holds relationships down for the long haul.
Russell Wilson has made the decision to lead by example in giving Ciara his heart while cherishing her body. By removing sexual activity from their building relationship, it places them in the position to develop a relationship openly, honestly and focused on mutual respect and not just their apparent sexual attraction.
Now that the couple is out in the open with their relationship, I’m sure we will be seeing much more of them together living out their purpose. “I knew that God brought me into her life to bless her and for her to bless me, and to bless so many people with the impact that we both have,” Wilson continued during the Q&A session. “We’re not going to be perfect by any means. Life is not perfect. Nobody is perfect. But He’s anointed both of us, and He’s calling us to do something miraculous.”
Glamazon Tyomi is a freelance writer, model and sex educator with a deeply rooted passion for spreading the message of sex positivity and encouraging the masses to embrace their sexuality. Her website, www.sexperttyomi.com, reaches internationally as a source for advice and information for the sexually active/curious. Follow her on Twitter at @glamazontyomi and the all-new “Glamazon Tyomi’s Sex Academy” radio show here.
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