It’s normal for the sex life of a couple caring for children to take a nosedive because of the weight of responsibility, but according to a new study heterosexual couples who share child care responsibilities evenly experience a better overall relationship and an increase in their sex lives.
A group of sociologists from Georgia State University examined data from a 2006 Marital Relationship study that compiled the opinion of 487 heterosexual couples that were broken up into three groups. One group consisted of women who did all the work in the relationship, another consisted of men who did all the work and the last consisted of both partners who share childcare responsibilities evenly.
Researchers examined how often couples had sex and how they felt about it and assessed relationship quality by reporting relationship satisfaction and conflict. The lowest quality relationship and sex life was in the group where women held most of the responsibility of child care responsibilities (at least 60%). In groups where the men held most of the child care responsibilities, relationship quality, sexual frequency and satisfaction with sexual frequency were as high as couples who shared childcare responsibilities. Even though the women in these relationships reported overall relationship satisfaction, the men in the relationships reported lowest overall satisfaction with their sex lives.
This study shows us that sharing of child care responsibilities is important to both partners in the relationship and leads to overall satisfaction within a monogamous relationship. There is further research that needs to be conducted in order to determine this same fact in homosexual couples and to further explain why sharing child care responsibilities leads to a more satisfying relationship. Researchers at Georgia State University are making plans to continue with this research in the future.
It may prove to be difficult for some partners to determine how child care responsibilities will be divided between them, but there are solutions that any couple can use to ensure the health of their relationship is properly maintained while raising children. Here are a few easy systems to use to bring about equality in your child care duties with your partner.
With two parents working full time, part time or attending school syncing schedules is the most important technique that can be used to ensure child care responsibilities are shared. Make the time to sit down and compare schedules to see what responsibilities can be given to which parent. If one parent works overnight and the other is available during the day to get the kids ready for school, then make a note of this on your child care calendar for the days that accommodate that schedule. If there is a switch in the schedule at any time, revisit your agreement and adjust accordingly.
Sometimes the monotony of adhering to the same schedule can make any responsibility feel like a chore. In order to keep an even flow of responsibility and to promote overall satisfaction in your relationship, agree to switch off on child care responsibilities.
Remaining in constant communication about child care responsibilities is an excellent way to maintain the importance of sharing responsibilities. Whenever there is a change in schedule or a change in the child’s schedule or needs, talk about it. Communicating about a plan of action will not only help with the diplomacy of how the responsibilities are divided, but will also lessen the chances of confusion or miscommunication about who is to be responsible for particular duties. Communication is at the base of any successful dynamic.
Glamazon Tyomi is a freelance writer, model and sex educator with a deeply rooted passion for spreading the message of sex positivity and encouraging the masses to embrace their sexuality. Her website, www.sexperttyomi.com, reaches internationally as a source for advice and information for the sexually active/curious. Follow her on Twitter at @glamazontyomi and the all-new “Glamazon Tyomi’s Sex Academy” radio show here.
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