Intimacy is the one aspect of romantic relationships that is often misinterpreted. Many believe intimacy to be the physical act of sexual intercourse, and while intimacy can be present in these moments of pleasure, the basis of intimacy has absolutely nothing to do with sex at all. In fact, many relationships are faced with an absence of intimacy because of a lack of understanding of what it is.
In his book, “Intimacy: Trusting Oneself and the Other,” OSHO describes intimacy as relating to others and oneself in authenticity. Intimacy first begins with a complete understanding of self and a retransformation of the mind. To be intimate, OSHO teaches that one must first have an introverted relationship with self where all opinions of others and the outside world are kept out.
In order to become intimate with your lover, you must know who you truly are based on what your inner voice tells you. That inner voice is what is considered to be God energy, or life force energy that gives you the power of being. “We are taught from an early age to live outwardly,” OSHO states. In order to find yourself you must go into mediation. For many, meditation is a foreign concept that appears difficult to grasp, but it is truly simple. For 10 minutes or more a day, sit in total silence with your eyes closed, steadily breathing and think about nothing. Allow all outside thoughts to fall from your mind and listen to what your inner voice is saying. Then ask yourself the question, “Who am I?” Without identifying with your family, friends, work, social clubs and the opinions of others, who are you really?
To be intimate is to be completely naked in relating to those around you. NO masks, NO representatives, NO facades. In order to have the deep connection with your partner that creates intense sexual moments, you have to know yourself and then trust your partner with who you truly are. It is being vulnerable and open with the most intimate parts of your being.
Many couples sleep together at night and aren’t aware of who the person they sleep next to really is. There is a lack of intimacy that creates that barrier in situations such as this. Communication is the tool necessary for couples to remain aware of each other through life’s changes.
A great activity to use as a way to check in with each other’s true selves is to use lists. Create a list of check in questions that inquire about intimate parts of one’s life. Life changes such as becoming parents, experiencing death in the family, job changes or sickness can change people’s perspectives on self and life, and ultimately change the person as a whole. Make the commitment to check in with yourself and your partner to remain in intimacy.
MUST READ: How To Create Intimacy During Sex
If communication and connecting intimately is a difficulty within your relationship, consider talking to a relationship coach who can help point you in the right direction. Once intimacy is established, trust will be at the center of your relationship, bringing with it the freedom to explore sexually and connect more deeply.
If you would like to learn more about OSHO’s eastern view on intimacy, you can purchase his book “Intimacy: Trusting Oneself and the Other” on Amazon.com.
Glamazon Tyomi is a freelance writer, model and sex educator with a deeply rooted passion for spreading the message of sex positivity and encouraging the masses to embrace their sexuality. Her website, www.sexperttyomi.com, reaches internationally as a source for advice and information for the sexually active/curious. Follow her on Twitter at @glamazontyomi and the all-new “Glamazon Tyomi’s Sex Academy” radio show here.
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