Kelis made headlines when she spoke her truth for the first time via an interview with Hollywood Unlocked’s Jason Lee. During the hour-plus long conversation, she detailed the innermost parts of her five-year marriage to rapper Nas, including physical and mental abuse. While she maintained that she physically fought back, Kelis also made sure to mention that her former spouse would be beyond the rational limit of drunk and would always initiate the fights. This information shocked the Black community, who have long heralded Nas as a stand up cultural figure.
Since their 2010 split, Kelis has continued to do well for herself. She took advantage of her degree from Le Cordon Bleu culinary school and wrote a cookbook, and also created a tasty line of sauces. The artist has remarried, had another little one, and is enjoying the life she created for herself. She also continues to tour and create music and has established herself as a health and wellness aficionado.
Possibly one of the more painful parts of the Hollywood Unlocked interview was the revelation that the ex-couple are in the midst of a bitter custody battle. Kelis feels that the incorporation of lawyers is infuriating and is an act of pure narcissism on Nas’s part. According to her, he hasn’t been present for the majority of their 8-year-old son’s life and is controlling when he does decide to step in.
But the singer is not backing down, regardless of the circumstances; she is standing up for women everywhere by deciding to engage in this battle and be vocal about it.
Kelis knows that there are other women in the world who are dealing with abusive ex-partners/fathers of their children. Due to this, she wants to start a fund that helps women handle the costs of legal action. In addition to this initiative, we’d like to help as well by sharing some of the tips we gleaned from the situation. If Kelis can make it out, so can you.
1. Fight back! Kelis made it known that she is not lying down and taking any more of Nas’ mess. She was silent for almost a decade, but she
realized that her silence was not helpful. In fact, it can be argued that it enabled him to continue to paint a false picture of what was being done. Your voice is powerful so if something brutal has happened to you, it is your right to talk about it. It just might empower someone else, too.
2. Kelis also advised women to get out of violent relationships as fast as they can. Although I
realize not everyone is able to just up and leave an abusive partner, you shouldn’t stay (if you’re capable of fleeing) for the sake of love. It won’t magically get better. You’re not responsible for healing your partner. All you can do is take care of yourself and your children (if you have any).
3. Lastly, I re-learned the importance of strides towards financial independence. Kelis shared that she was already a career woman when she met Nas, and I believe that enabled her to leave. I’m not saying that she didn’t have a difficult time financially after the split (because she wasn’t touring or releasing new material according to the interview), nor am I saying women have to be millionaires. It’s just that working your way towards your own hustle is super helpful when it comes to breaking things off and moving on with life.
Brooklyn White is a writer with work published on Saint Heron, Teen Vogue, Bitch Media, HYPEBAE, Milk Makeup, HelloGiggles, and Fashionista
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