While it may be easy to speculate what you may or may not do in a situation of abuse, one can never really know how you will react until that abusive situation happens to you. People who abuse other people are predators; they look for a person’s vulnerable spots so that they can exploit and manipulate their way into their life. An abusive relationship can sneak up on you due to the fact that abuse comes in many forms. Many already know about physical abuse, but here are a few forms of abuse you may have overlooked.
1. Economic Abuse
Economic abuse can trap someone in a relationship even when they recognize it’s unhealthy. Without money or financial access:
- Leaving becomes logistically difficult
- Housing, transportation, and childcare become uncertain
- Credit damage can follow someone for years
It’s often tied to other forms of abuse (emotional, psychological, or physical), reinforcing a cycle of dependence and control.
Economic abuse isn’t just about “who makes more money”—it’s about control and restriction. Here are some common ways it shows up:
2. Controlling Income
- Taking your paycheck or requiring you to hand it over
- Monitoring every dollar you spend
- Giving you an “allowance” and demanding justification for purchases
3. Blocking Financial Independence
- Preventing you from working or sabotaging your job (e.g., causing you to miss work, discouraging career growth)
- Forcing you to quit your job
- Refusing to let you pursue education or training
4. Creating Financial Dependency
- Putting all accounts in their name only
- Not allowing you access to bank accounts, credit cards, or financial information
- Making you ask for money for basic needs
5. Ruining Your Financial Standing
- Opening credit cards or loans in your name without permission
- Running up debt you’re responsible for
- Not paying shared bills on purpose to damage your credit
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6. Withholding or Weaponizing Resources
- Refusing to contribute to rent, food, or childcare as a way to punish you
- Taking money away after arguments
- Using money to manipulate decisions (“If you leave, you’ll have nothing”)
7. Spiritual Abuse
Bullying someone to subscribe to the same religion or belief as they do, no matter if the person believes in the philosophy or not. Within spiritual abuse, abusers use exclusive language. “We’re the only ministry really following Jesus.” “We have all the right theology.” Believe their way of doing things, thinking theologically, or handling ministry and church is the only correct way. Everyone else is wrong, misguided, or stupidly naive.
Spiritual abusers also create a culture of fear and shame. Often there is no grace for someone who fails to live up to the church’s or ministry’s expectations. If someone steps outside the often-unspoken rules, leaders shame them into compliance. Leaders can’t admit failure, but they often look for failure in others and use that knowledge to keep them in fear and captivity.
They often quote scriptures about not touching God’s anointed, or bringing accusations against an elder. Yet they often confront sin in others, especially those who raise legitimate biblical issues. Or they have their circle of influence take on this task and silence critics.
8. Digital Abuse
Using technology such as email, social networking, and texting to bully and harass another.
This type of abuse has been heightened in the past few years. It may come off as passive-aggressive or even blatant with the use of pictures, memes, videos and other media to get your attention.
Types of digital abuse include:
- Telling you who you can or can’t follow, or be friends with on social media.
- Sending you negative, insulting, or threatening messages or emails.
- Using social media to track your activities.
- Insulting or humiliating you in their posts online, including posting unflattering photos or videos.
- Sending, requesting, or pressuring you to send unwanted explicit photos or videos, sexts, or otherwise compromising messages.
- Stealing or insisting on being given your account passwords.
- Constantly texting you or making you feel like you can’t be separated from your phone for fear that you’ll anger them.
- Looking through your phone or checking up on your pictures, texts, and phone records.
- Using any kind of technology (such as spyware or GPS in a car or phone) to monitor your activities.
9. Emotional Abuse
It involves a regular pattern of verbal offense, threatening, bullying, and constant criticism, as well as more subtle tactics like intimidation, shaming and manipulation. Emotional abuse is used to control and dominate the other person, and quite often it occurs because the abuser has childhood wounds and insecurities they haven’t dealt with — perhaps as a result of being abused themselves.
RELATED: When Sex Is Scary: Signs You’re In A Sexually Abusive Relationship
1. Constant Criticism & Belittling
- Insults disguised as jokes
- Putting down your appearance, intelligence, or abilities
- Making you feel like you’re never “good enough”
2. Gaslighting (Distorting Reality)
- Denying things they said or did
- Telling you “you’re overreacting” or “that never happened”
- Making you question your memory or sanity
3. Manipulation & Guilt-Tripping
- Twisting situations so everything becomes your fault
- Using your emotions against you (“If you loved me, you would…”)
- Playing the victim to avoid accountability
4. Control & Isolation
- Discouraging or preventing you from seeing friends/family
- Monitoring your time, communication, or social media
- Making you feel guilty for having a life outside the relationship
5. Silent Treatment & Emotional Withdrawal
- Ignoring you for long periods as punishment
- Withholding affection, communication, or validation
- Creating anxiety by being unpredictable with attention
6. Intimidation & Threats (Non-Physical)
- Threatening to leave, cheat, or expose personal information
- Using tone, anger, or presence to make you feel afraid
- Breaking things or acting aggressively without direct violence
Subtle Signs People Often Miss
Emotional abuse isn’t always loud or obvious. It can feel like:
- Walking on eggshells to avoid upsetting your partner
- Over-explaining yourself constantly
- Doubting your own judgment or instincts
- Feeling drained, anxious, or “not yourself” in the relationship
- Believing you’re the problem in every conflict
What Healthy Emotional Behavior Looks Like
- Disagreements happen without attacks on your character
- You feel heard, respected, and safe expressing yourself
- Your partner takes accountability, not just deflects blame
- You’re encouraged to grow, connect, and be independent
One thing that is common with all types of abuse is that the abuser is in control at all times. Abusers are very calculating, obsessive, aggressive and controlling. Many times, abusers use guilt and isolation to keep the abused in check.
Stop this hurtful culture of abuse consisting of shame, embarrassment and hurt. It is very hard for the victim to admit that they are being abused. But with help and therapy, the victim can become the victor.
