Who else found themselves relating to Issa’s dating situation on this season of Insecure? No, not the part where she showed up unannounced to Nathan’s house, but the way she continually focused her perspective on what she had done to cause Nathan to disappear from her life. I think many of us have been there before.
In this day and age of technology-focused dating, it’s become much easier for the people we date to go silent without any sort of explanation – leaving us to wonder what happened. As we saw during the season finale, Nathan’s disappearance had nothing to do with her and everything to do with his circumstances.
As cliché as it may sound, our thoughts shape our reality. Plenty of research exists to support that notion. So the next time you find yourself spiraling into a cycle of self-blame and self-doubt, try flipping the script on those negative thoughts and replacing them with thoughts that are rooted in self-love and faith in your future.
Negative Thought: Was it something I did or said?
Replace it with: I love who I am. I am looking for a person who loves me for me fully and completely, quirks and all. I can not say or do the wrong thing when I am being myself.
Negative Thought: I knew this would happen, people always end up leaving me.
Replace it with: My past does not define my present or my future. I have faith in me and that I will find a love that I can trust in wholeheartedly.
Negative Thought: I’m not attractive enough to keep someone interested.
Replace it with: I do not need to change my appearance to attract the type of partner that I deserve. I am everything that I need to be.
Negative Thought: I’ll never find anyone! I’m just going to give up on dating.
Replace it with: A bad dating experience does not determine my future in love. I am confident that I will find what who I am looking for.
They call dating a game for a reason – sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. Even Lebron hasn’t walked away from every season with a ring. But a loss never dictates your worth. The next time a date gets ghost on you, chin up, engage in some self-care and keep it moving dear.
Jasmine Berry, B.A. in Journalism is a graduate of Hampton University and is soon to have her master of public health from Tulane University. She loves all things mental wellness and a good cup of tea.
Jasmine Berry, B.A. in Journalism is a graduate of Hampton University and is soon to have her master of public health from Tulane University. She loves all things mental wellness and a good cup of tea.
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