You only have one life to live. Though such a common idiom, it’s very powerful one? When you put it into perspective, it allows you to really consider the things you will allow to add and subtract from your life. When it comes to relationships, you should want to spend your life with someone you are head over heels for, and not just in a passionate/lustful way, but in meaningful one. Unfortunately, many people haven’t experienced love like that, and what’s worse many doubt it even exists.
In fact, according to research conducted by University of Chicago sociologist John Cacioppo, “20% of Americans in 2013 (60 million) feel alone and are doubtful of finding love.”
Consequently, what ends up happening is many people settle. Several factors can drive one to settle such as fear of being alone, satisfying a relative like worrisome parents hoping for grandchildren, and financial stability. Whatever the reason, in order to truly find real love, it has to be based upon organic and mutual desire to be together. If you have ever questioned if you need to reconsider your current relationship, be on the lookout for these signs.
1. Sex with your partner is nonexistent or at least NOT enjoyable, so you handle that part yourself…and look forward to it.
2. You entertain the idea of having a long distance marriage. You have envisioned your spouse living in one city and yourself in another….and you are totally fine with it because they are not someone that you want to spend time with on a daily basis.
3. Sleeping in separate rooms frequently is a sign. Health reasons aside, if you are with the right person, you would rather put up with their midnight judo kicks in the back than sleep in a different room.
4. Opportunities to spend time together are missed due to lack of planning. If you are with someone you love being with, it is exciting to think of activities that you both will enjoy together. Planning will not be a task because you look forward to it, and making it a priority will not be hard.
5. You think that passion and love is purely fictional. Nope. It can exist. You just have not found it.
6. Your friends can pick up on your “settling vibes” and question you about your happiness. They’re your friends. That’s their job.
7. You dream about other men/women. No explanation needed.
8. Little mistakes make you spaz out. If your boyfriend or spouse forgets to take the dog out or laughs at a joke you think is stupid, you see red. Because he already irks you to begin with. In an interview with The Daily Mail, relationship expert Andrew G. Marshall said, “most of us assume the big issues are what drive a couple apart, when sometimes it really is those minor irritations that add up.” Well when these little issues are micro nuclear small it’s time to re-evaluate.
9. Your drinking goes up a notch. The natural high that your partner should bring you to is absent so you create it with the help of liquid spirits.
10. You eat a lot. Again, you are filling a void that your partner doesn’t fulfill.
11. Conversations are routine, monotonous and boring. “How was work”? “Fine”. No sparks there.
12. Settling in the relationship leads to settling in other areas of your life such as career goals, pastimes, and friends. Definitely a slippery slope.
13. You are never in a rush to get home.
14. You are jealous of other couples and inquire a lot about what makes them tick.
15. You defend your own relationship to yourself and try to rationalize why you are still with him.
If you see yourself qualifying for two or more of these signs it might be time to let that baggage go. There are 5 billion people in this world. No reason to tie yourself down to the wrong one.
Beauty and hair maven Naomi Mackenzie is a freelance writer and business consultant. Her passion is to continuously keep up with the ever evolving techniques and topics as it relates to skin and hair, while helping others to embrace their own definition of beauty in a healthy way. Her blog, KissTheChaos (www.KissTheChaos.com) shares both an educated and personal perspective, sought to spark ongoing discussion. Follow her on Instagram at @oOolala_laa and on Facebook here.
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