Shared pain draws people together. Described as a “social glue,” trauma sometimes acts as a way for people to relate to others in social settings, forging connections between survivors known as trauma-bonds.
One example of this is Stockholm Syndrome, defined as the distorted relationship between kidnappers and their victims turned defenders. Outsiders may find this dynamic hard to understand, Stockholm Syndrome sufferers provide a mental escape for victims by re-shaping the mind to find comfort in its captivity.
Unit Cohesion, a common trauma-bond phenomenon that usually occurs in first responders depicts the effectiveness of shared trauma in high-stress situations. A study by the Society of Occupational Medicine took a close look at participants who reported higher levels of cooperation and group morale, increased communication skills, and improved operational performance, especially following a traumatic event.
Findings show that Unit Cohesion improved soldier mental wellness and increased mission success overall, it had little to no
impact on soldier mental health and PTSD rates once the combat zone element was removed.
Trauma is not a new topic in the Black community. The University of Pennsylvania recently conducted a study that analyzed the effects of police brutality. Social media footage of police shootings and excessive force alone is having a population-level impact on the mental health of the African-Americans in the US as a whole.
With an increase in depression, psychological distress, anxiety disorders, and a 9.1% prevalence rate for PTSD (compared to 6.8% in Whites), it’s unsurprising that pain seems to be one of the things most Black people have in common. An increase in PTSD is usually correlated with people utilizing unhealthy strategies to cope with it.
Emotional numbness or the avoidance of emotional experiences is usually what we see most among emotionally traumatized Black people, and is the most logical response to repeated trauma. This is illustrated by our desensitization to see horrible police murder videos without an outward show of emotion.
But as Black people become number to external stimuli, it takes more for them to gain real attachment and authentic interactions with others. This explains why some children exposed to
trauma during their formative years engage in thrill-seeking and risky behaviors at a much higher rate than their counterparts.
This can be seen in adults as well. The need for heightened stimuli not only manifest into daily decision making but affect our relationships as well. Where others might view someone’s unaddressed trauma as a sign to back off, a similarly traumatized person would see the potential risks as being worth the shared perspective that comes with them.
To a person suffering from continued trauma, someone who can help them cope and survive is far more important in the moment than someone who can help them heal. These relationships are proof of that.
It is through the unhealthy belief that we can build healthy relationships on unstable foundations that perpetuates a cycle trauma.
It has been scientifically proven that trauma in our histories has genetically predisposed us to be more
susceptible to trauma bonding. The resulting numbness that makes us seek out extreme feelings and extreme situations.
When a pair comes together with mostly traumatic events in common, they become both centers of pain and coping mechanisms for one another thus creating a cycle constant victimization that blinds to forward progression.
By seeking therapy (in affordable professionals, books, podcasts, and shows) and recognizing our demons, we can work to end the cycle of trauma-bonding and choose a healthier way of life for ourselves and each other.
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