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Tina Knowles-Lawson: “Fall In Love With Yourself Again”

(Photo by Leon Bennett/Getty Images for Essence)

We all know Tina Knowles-Lawson as the strong, black woman who gave birth to and raised two superstars Beyonce’ and Solange, but she’s so much more than that.

Born Célestine Ann Beyincé in Galveston, Texas, she left home at 19 and relocated to California to work as a makeup artist. However, she returned home when her parents fell ill. Knowles worked as a beautician until 1990 when she opened the salon Headliners, located in Houston. The salon went on to become one of the most famous hair businesses in Houston.

Then she gained even more fame as the designer for supergroup, Destiny’s Child, and the rest is history.

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In an interview with Beverly Johnson, Knowles-Lawson also talked about some of the challenges she faced as a stylist for Destiny’s Child in the late ’90s and early ’00s. “The label, after the girls started getting a lot of recognition, they had a meeting with my husband and they told him that basically I was the problem and I was going to be the reason why the girls would be limited in their crossover appeal, because they were just a little too flashy, a little too Motown, but what they really meant was that they were a little too Black,” she revealed.

“As an African-American, I know, I’ve always known, that our fashion, our vibe, our style, our swag, has influenced the fashion world greatly,” she said. “I remember I used to design things and I would get criticized for it, but they next thing I know it would be on somebody’s runway.”

Photo: EBONY

“I was told that they should look like Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera,” she went on. “At the time they were big pop stars, and in order for the girls to cross over, they said they needed to wear jeans and t-shirts. I took offense to it because I felt like the girls, in their splendor, were different, they were unique, they were unapologetically Black.”

She also made sure to mention that, while disappointed in the label’s insistence that the girls tone down their Blackness, they were “happy and excited” to be wearing creations designed by Ms. Tina. “They were excited at what the culture brought to the industry,” she said. “It needed some flavor, and they brought that flavor.”

Fast forward to now where Mrs. Lawson and her new hubby of four years are living the life enjoying each other. But did come with a price that was a bit heavy for Tina at first.

Tina sat down with T.D. Jakes to talk about life after divorce. The superstar mom, who many thought was always confident, shared that she had her struggle and how life was not easy after 33 years of marriage to Matthew Knowles.

In the video below, she explains that picking up the pieces after a divorce, even for a successful mom who was pushing her 60’s, was hard. She has some savvy advice for those who are going through a divorce or really any hardship in life where it feels like you lost apart of yourself:

(photo credit: Instagram)

“When you’re getting a divorce your self-esteem gets so low,” confesses Tina. “You say ‘I’m not young anymore. I’m not cute.’ I even doubted my intelligence. So I had to get myself together, because Richard wouldn’t come into my life if I wasn’t ready.”

“I have always believed in life after divorce. But, there was a time where I had my doubts,” explains Tina. “I was 59 years old and I was working and doing all these things and I didn’t believe that I could meet someone. So I started off loving myself.”

From the 68-year-old Tina’s words, we crafted the top three tips for those of you who are also thinking of moving on after your marriage ended.

1. Be Accountable.

No one likes admitting their faults, but in order to make your next relationship work, it’s important to reflect on why your marriage didn’t last. That means asking yourself the tough questions such as, “What role did I play in our divorce?” and “Is there anything more that I could’ve done?” It’s easy to blame your ex for everything that went wrong in the marriage, but being honest and owning up to your own mistakes shows maturity. Expect to shed a few tears during this one. Divorce is painful and it’s going to be an emotional roller coaster for the first few months, but over time, you can and will love again.

2. Spend Some Time By Yourself

We hate to break it you, but rushing out the day after your divorce isn’t going to do you much good. Broken bones take about six weeks to heal. Broken hearts? Not so much. Take this time for you. Now, however long that takes is up to you. Just make sure you’re completely healed before you start dating again.

3. Take Your Time

After getting out of a marriage, it’s only natural to want to find someone new right off the bat, but that’s one of the biggest mistakes you can make. This is your chance to date around to compare what you like and what you don’t like until you find Mr. or Mrs. Right. Don’t expect that special someone to enter your life every time you leave the house. It may take weeks, months or even years, which is completely fine. Hey, chances are, you didn’t find your ex-wife or ex-husband overnight either, right?

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