When a child becomes aware of their sex parts and they begin to respond to sexual stimuli (typically around age 8) it’s very common for them to become naturally curious about how these parts work. The sex talk is one that is often delivered with caution of STDs and unwanted pregnancy, but the talk of the benefits of what masturbation can provide for the sexually-charged preteen or young adult isn’t often heard about. It’s time that we encourage our children to embrace themselves sexually using an act that is the safest form of sex. Before they go into the world to explore with others, here are a few facts that parents should be talking to their children about concerning the act of masturbation.
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It’s okay to touch yourself.
Masturbation is an accepted form of self-pleasure for young men, but it’s rare that we hear about mothers encouraging their daughters to explore their sexual parts. We must be more sex positive in how we approach our children and youth with sexual subjects, especially as it pertains to their bodies. Young women should be encouraged to learn about what’s between her legs, how to care for her parts and how to release sexual tension if that is her desire. Relaying messages of shame or insecurity about sexual parts will only add to future problems with sexual self-acceptance in her future, so be the sex positive role model she needs and encourage her exploration.
Giving her messages that it’s okay for her to touch herself and to become one with her body will increase self-esteem and make her aware of the control she has over her body. The same rules apply for young men. Their desires to touch themselves are strong, so it’s a matter of giving boys the power of permission that will help them with embracing themselves sexually in a healthy way.
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It’s the safest form of sex.
STDs and teen pregnancy are two of the major reasons parents caution their children away from experimenting with sex at a young age, but the fact of reality is that their hormones will tell them the opposite. A happy medium between preventing health risks and unwanted pregnancy while still encouraging sexual expression is to educate children and youth about masturbation. It is the safest form of sex performed alone and doesn’t bring the emotional baggage along with it that can come from partnering with someone else. Children will always be getting messages about sex from friends, entertainment or the Internet, so it’s best to be the proper source of information and guidance in their life by providng them with comprehensive sex education that includes a way to release that isn’t damaging.
Relax, there’s no rush.
Rushing through masturbation, particularly for young men, often occurs out of anxiety or fear of being caught by a parent that may punish him for practicing this sex act. I highly suggest having talk with young men about how to relax during the act while sending messages of approval of this type of sexual expression. Premature ejaculation is a common issue among men and is becoming an issue for men of younger ages because of how they masturbate. Placing a sign on the door when in the act or using a code word for when he wants to have alone time are just a few simple ways parents can suggest young men request their privacy when exploring themselves. The same suggestions apply for young women. Holding anxiety in the mind and body and rushing through the process does have a negative effect on a man’s sexual performance, so encourage relaxation and acceptance of the safest form of sex there is.
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The sex talk isn’t always an easy one for parents to approach their children with, but by becoming educated and sex positive parents you will be able to deliver healthy messages about sexuality and sexual health with ease. Make a commitment to set your child up for a healthy sexual future by seeking out comprehensive sources of sex education and removing shame and guilt from sexual expression in your own life, and make sure to check in with your children to learn about their sexual awareness to correct any sexual knowledge that may be incorrect.
Glamazon Tyomi is a freelance writer, model and sex educator with a deeply rooted passion for spreading the message of sex positivity and encouraging the masses to embrace their sexuality. Her website, www.sexperttyomi.com, reaches internationally as a source for advice and information for the sexually active/curious. Follow her on Twitter at @glamazontyomi and the all-new “Glamazon Tyomi’s Sex Academy” radio show here.
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