He cheated, but she doesn’t leave him. Yet, in relationships where the woman cheats, the relationship often ends in divorce. Why do some women choose to stay with their wandering mate?
It’s not just high profile celebs like Tiger Woods, Kobe Bryant, or politicians. Even the hubby next door—many men do it. The latest celeb to get caught up is self-proclaimed relationship guru, Derek (Jaxn) Jackson. If you’ve seen any of his videos, he’s mainly talking to women about what a “real man” should or shouldn’t do and even what signs a woman should look for to leave her man. He’s well known for preaching a message that black men shouldn’t cheat.
Jackson recently released a video on social media. It was him gripping tightly to his wife, Da’Nai Jackson’s, hand confessing to his millions of social media followers that he had been unfaithful to his wife multiple times.
“This chapter of our marriage was one that was preceded by a marriage that I completely failed,” Jaxn revealed in a video posted on Facebook, with his wife Da’Naia by his side.
“I would say it started around August or September of last year. But a lot has been said already about what was the cause. And some of it is true, some of it is completely false. But the truth is, and I’m saying it here now, is that Derek Jackson was involved with other women outside the marriage.”
“And by involved, I want to be clear: I’m not just talking about casually kicking it maybe at lunch or something like that,” he continued. “I’m talking about as serious as sex, sexual flirtation and that kind of thing.”
Jaxn’s confession comes just days after vlogger Tasha K. interviewed a woman identified as Candice De Medeiros, who said she had an affair with Jaxn. She alleges that Jaxn told her he was separated from his wife of four years.
“He continues to seek guidance and that is what I need to stay in the marriage,” Da’Nai said. “Today, I am at peace and probably stand by his side. I have no hesitation, hate, or shame.”
Following the release of Jaxn’s apology video, social media erupted with memes, lambasting Jaxn for not practicing what he preaches.
“Now that I think about it, It totally makes sense that Derrick Jaxn does every video sitting in his car. He know damn well he couldn’t be in the house lying like that in front of his wife,” reads one tweet.
Another tweet read: “Wild part about Derrick Jaxn is his online persona would tell his wife to leave him.”
So why did his wife stay? She’s not alone either. A LOT of wifes and girlfriends stay after infidelity. In fact, up to 75% of couples rocked by an affair stay together. Why don’t women get rid of their wandering mates? Here are a few reason.
1. Fear of being alone.
She’s been with him for years, building a life together and focusing on their combined futures. Thinking about letting all that go makes her queasy with fear of the unknown. She’s probably harried by concerns such as what her life will be like without him in it. Facing that uncertainty is often too scary of a prospect. She’d rather stick with the status quo because, as difficult as it might be, it’s a comfort zone.
2. Doing it for the kids.
Although it sounds naive, staying with a man for the children makes sense to the woman in question. As a mother, she has people other than herself to consider, and she might hesitate at the idea of breaking up the family by leaving her boyfriend or husband.
3. The finances will take a hit.
It’s not a completely unfounded fear: A woman is likely to draw the short financial straw in a divorce. An ex-wife’s standard of living drops more than 25%, studies show. They’re also more likely to…
… lose other essentials, such as health insurance and their homes. Emotions aside, not having money can cause a woman to stay. How is she going to leave and start a new life on her own if she has been depending on him for financial stability? This is an issue that could keep women, both gold diggers and non- gold diggers alike, in the relationship — even if they’re not in love with their partners anymore.
4. Believing that No one’s perfect.
As people live, age and grow together, they recognize that they have to give up the dreams of the perfect spouse. They know their mate eventually will disappoint them. But they still that people can get on the right path and think it’s possible their boyfriends will change their cheating ways and revert to how they were before the infidelity.
5. Her professional status is tied to his.
Building a relationship with someone is more than forging emotional ties; it can incorporate other financial, energy and time costs. For instance, if she has built a business with her guy, leaving the relationship could risk her venture. Likewise, having invested feelings and energy cultivating the relationship could make her hesitant to walk away with nothing. She would rather work on the current relationship than cut her losses.
6. Family and religious pressure.
The decision to leave a marriage doesn’t always sit well with traditional, religious families. Many believe that women should keep a marriage together — whatever the cost. Some women are constantly bombarded by that “through thick and thin” clause in their vows and see leaving a cheater as a break in a promise to God.
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