You’ve been trying to lose weight or on some kind of diet since skinny jeans became a thing. But as often as you changed diets, your weight loss came back as weight gained. Those jeans had to be permanently relegated to the back of the closet while more figure-forgiving, though not necessarily the most flattering, fashions took priority in daily wear. Your thoughts were not about looking good, but more about camouflaging the plus-sized you. Often, your search for clothes resulted in frustration, not finding appealing fashion in your current size. It was clear that when it came to certain larger sizes, dressing was not for celebrating you in any way that might draw attention to you, or that a woman with a fuller figure could feel good about. The question is: when did you start to feel like you needed to reach your ”goal weight” before you could look good?
Whether it was because you didn’t want to invest in a body fat situation that you wished was temporary or because you felt your cortisol belly and high BMI body did not need to have an updated look, you stopped looking in the mirror to confirm beauty. At the extreme worst, you may have limited your gaze only to what was strictly necessary in the bathroom mirror: face, teeth, and hair– and you were out of there. Mary J. Blige’s “Just Fine” lyrics about checking yourself out in the mirror and approving of what you see did not apply to you…yet.
But what if you could change all of that? What if you made friends with the mirror for maximum confidence? Take a look. Not a critical look but a neutral one to start. Sure, you might wish you were a size six, but you’re not, and few are. Living in the not-now but maybe back-then realities concerning your body’s size can put pressure on you to look forward to a future change in size circumstances, with an underlying dissatisfaction with what you see until you reach your ideal size. You have the power to change all of this by embracing what you look like now.
Your weight may not be your ideal one, but taking a compassionate inventory of the nude you could reveal that you are beautiful no matter what your current size is. So, take a good look: from face to breasts and belly, then arms and shoulders, to hips and thighs, and don’t forget your backside. Love who you are with nothing on but your birthday suit. Stand there looking and taking it all in. Accept what you look like now and let your body confidence rise from low to maximum over time.
It may take more than one mirror session, and it may result in a few tears. But after a few extended glances and all of the emotions that accompany such an exercise, you may give yourself permission to choose more and better. Choose clothes that express the confident woman you are becoming on the inside. Choose fashion for a change, not functionality. And become better at deciding now is good. It is all right to choose to be a more confident woman who wants to “look good to feel [better].”
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Check out the online vibe before shopping for clothes. From “waiting is wrong” to finding advice, if you are ready for suggestions on how to showcase your body confidence and find support from others who are doing the same, the verdict is in. Waiting to reach your ideal weight to shop is out, and the body confidence to shop for what makes you feel good from the inside out is in.
You might be interested in “six reasons why waiting to lose weight before shopping for clothes is a bad idea” or “seven tips for shopping for clothing when you’re obese.” Some days, you may want to confidently showcase your figure in a red dress that highlights every curve, while on other days, you may prefer outfits that help you look slimmer.
Initially, you may not feel confident about dressing to feel good if you have a thicker figure, however. But the choice is yours, and there is plenty of information to guide you. Move forward and don’t look back on days of less confidence and more self-judgment when encouragement, support, and practical advice on how-tos as go-tos are available to help you find your fashion-savvy way.
Even armed with self-confidence that leads you to select a wardrobe fit for a queen, not everyone shares your choice to dress up, not hide out, in the clothes you wear if you are overweight. The stigma around being obese is still present, hurtful and negative, sometimes ignorant and unaware, or even downright rude. Don’t ever apologize for your size. Tune out the haters and continue to glow up with clothes that are as beautiful as you are, exude your newfound confidence when you wear them, and showcase your body with a flattering fit.
The key is to embrace who you are and how you look now, rather than waiting to dress well for a smaller-sized future that may never arrive. It is never completely about the clothes that you wear. It is also about the confidence, or lack of it, of the woman you are inside those clothes if you are bigger than you would like to be.
Shift the focus from size to achieving self-approval as greatness. Size is either relative to those around us or unrealistic when it comes to what they consider “acceptable size.” Greater women know how to dress well, no matter what size they are. Strong women do not want to hide; they actively seek to command a presence that goes beyond fashion and stems from their character strength. Greater women become the positive, central focus when what’s inside radiates outward, and size or clothes are not important factors in the equation.
Seeing yourself as bigger is for those who are too much of what doesn’t count. Seeing yourself as greater elevates an attitude of abundance and comes from a woman who may be fat or thin but knows she is more than enough in a good way. She is a source of satisfaction who builds up those around her. Like all great women, she lifts others, not puts others down.
Those who are trapped in the image of being bigger are critical of themselves and others and live in a lonely misery of fad diets. Slaves to the ever-fluctuating number on the scale, such outward sources are their dictators of joy and sorrow. Those who have a self-image as bigger hide in the shadows of those who are greater, embarrassed and apologetic about their size, and wanting others who are greater to feel the same.
The concept of self-worth is that “goal weights” are neither inherently good nor bad, but rather an ongoing choice to be acknowledged regardless of one’s weight, as their personality remains unchanged whether they lose or gain weight. Being greater means adopting healthy habits of any necessary lifestyle changes and continuing to live your best life, “goal weight” achieved or not.
Bigger or greater: it’s a point of view and an attitude towards self and others. The choice of how you choose to dress if you are overweight reflects how you see yourself: as bigger or greater. Recognize that fashionable or true, beauty is not future-thin, but present-as-is.
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