Orgasm is always the topic of discussion when conversations about sex are taking place, and it’s common knowledge that most women aren’t having orgasms regularly or even at all. The female sexual response cycle requires more time to reach the level of “orgasm,” but the most important element of a sexual experience that allows a woman to reach a climax is trust. Trust is necessary for a woman to truly feel safe in her mind and body during sexual activity, and when trust is established her body opens up like a flower ready to bloom.
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Before sex even begins, the body goes through an unconscious process of determining levels of safety, and if the body registers potential harm it becomes uncooperative during sex. The vagina can become dry and tight and may even become painful to penetrate if trust is not established, but there is a very simple way for couples to work on building trust while encouraging a woman’s orgasm.
By using the simple act of blindfolding, couples can not only experiment with new ways to express themselves sexually but also work on strengthening their bond and trust in each other.
Blindfolding is often an element of erotic play used in BDSM, but you don’t have to be a member of the lifestyle or into kink in order to use blindfolding during sex.
Using a silk blindfold or even a scarf across the eyes can encourage sensations a woman has never experienced before by heightening her senses. When eyesight becomes restricted it forces the other senses – touch, taste, smell and hearing – to intensify. It’s a natural survival technique, but it can also be a libido booster.
Imagine not being able to see what your partner is using to turn you on. Every touch, from the lightest of breath to the pressure of penetration, is intensified by ten because your mind is trying to create a picture of what is happening behind the blindfold. Not knowing what your partner’s next move will be can send your body into an…
… erotic frenzy…it keeps you on edge and anticipating more.
Before the blindfold is placed on, you have to give permission for your partner to place you in this submissive position, and you have to trust that he has your safety and your satisfaction in mind. Once in position your mind will switch from bringing thoughts outside of sex into the bedroom to focusing on what your partner’s next move is going to be, and this is the ultimate test of trust.
Sexually, women respond to touch predominately while men are aroused by visual stimulation, so this play with blindfolding can help usher a woman into relaxation where she can lose herself in the sexual experience. It’s erotic, it’s sexy and downright seductive to play in this way during sex, so the next time you need a way to spice up your sex life without spending a fortune or resorting to complicated techniques grab a scarf, grant permission and let go of your sight for a few moments to truly connect with how your body is receiving sexual pleasure.
Succumbing to the sensation of sexual arousal, relaxation and trusting yourself to let go will bring on the orgasm you desire. Give yourself permission to play and try it out for yourself. I highly recommend it. You can find inexpensive blindfolds at your local adult shop or online, and you can find scarves anywhere accessories are sold.
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Glamazon Tyomi is a freelance writer, model and sex educator with a deeply rooted passion for spreading the message of sex positivity and encouraging the masses to embrace their sexuality. Her website, www.sexperttyomi.com, reaches internationally as a source for advice and information for the sexually active/curious. Follow her on Twitter at @glamazontyomi and the all-new “Glamazon Tyomi’s Sex Academy” radio show here.
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