25 Questions Every Black Parent Should Ask the Pediatrician

You don’t need to be a medical expert or an uncredentialed health & wellness guru. All you need is some open dialogue, a bit of curiosity, and those good ol’ natural parental instincts that make life equally amazing – and distressing – at the same time!

In fact, what helps most is being able to walk into the next pediatric visit prepared with clear, specific questions that uncover issues early and make every appointment feel like a true partnership. 

Given the historic medical distrust between Black patients and healthcare providers, asking the right things can be a big deal. 

Are you worried about what issues may crop up? Feeling underprepared and overwhelmed? Wish you knew what to focus on most to ensure the health & happiness of your child?

The following 25 questions are organized by key areas you need to know. You can use them as a flexible checklist, covering all the major domains of pediatric health the doctor should address.

Let’s get right into it…

Developmental Milestones

When we talk about “developmental” in this case, we’re referring to age-appropriate development primarily in speech, hearing, vision, sleep, and other basic functions. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, developmental surveillance at every visit is a must. This includes standardized screening at specific ages, as early identification can measurably improve long-term outcomes.

Consider the following questions:

1. “Is my child meeting the milestones for speech and language at his/her age, and what should I look for next?”
2. “Have my child’s hearing and vision been checked/screened recently, and are the results typical?”
3. “Are my child’s sleep patterns age-appropriate, and are there any red flags to be monitored at home?”
4. “Based on what you’ve observed and I’ve shared, does anything warrant a formal developmental screening or referral?”

Not sure what this looks like? 

Here’s a hypothetical. At the 18-month visit, you might say, for example, “My toddler doesn’t seem to be pointing or using many words yet—can we go over the speech and social milestones together to see if screening is needed?”

Nutrition, Growth Charts, and Healthy Weight

Remember: growth trajectories matter, particularly patterns of weight gain in infancy and childhood, all of which may differ based on background and risk factors.

The following questions can illuminate this further:

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1. “Can we review the growth chart together so I understand where my child is for height, weight, and BMI?”
2. “Is my child’s growth trajectory healthy, or could there be undernutrition, rapid weight gain, or something else?”
3. “What nutrition guidance can you offer for our family, including breastfeeding, formula, solids, snacks, or meals?”
4. “Are there any cultural or practical food tips right for our household that also support optimal growth?”

Because Black children are more likely to have higher BMIs and weight-related conditions, asking these questions early is critical. 

Common Childhood Issues

Children like to bring germs into the mix. Especially when they’re surrounded by so many other kids in close quarters at school. 

So, what’s normal and what’s a reason for concern? Are there allergies, colds, and flus circulating?

Fortunately, parental education before illnesses can help improve care-seeking and medication management for these conditions, fevers, and other common infections.

Ask:

1. “What are the best home strategies for colds and flu, and when should I call instead of managing at home?”
2. “Could these symptoms be allergies and not a cold, and what simple steps can we try first?”
3. “Which OTC medicines are safe and appropriate for my child’s age and weight?”
4. “How do we lower the frequency of these illnesses through steps like handwashing, sleep, nutrition, and other habits?”

A parent can bring these issues up in numerous ways. For instance, you might say something like, “Last month my child’s runny nose lasted for two weeks… How do I know the difference between a lingering cold and something like allergic rhinitis? What should I track before the next appointment?”

Anxiety, Depression, School Performance, and Mental Health

Children are children. Their bodies are changing, they’re learning social scripts, and immaturity abounds. For this reason, it’s not rare to see various mental, emotional, and behavioral problems among kids, especially when disparities exist between racial and ethnic minority children.

This is why screening is recommended at key ages.

Important questions include:

1. “Have you observed any signs of anxiety or depression, or anything that is not emotionally appropriate for my child’s age?”
2. “Are there any school-performance concerns such as focus, behavior, learning, or peer relationships to look into?”
3. “What resources can help if my child is struggling with stress at home and/or school?”
4. “How often will you screen for mental health as my child ages?”

Every situation is different, but if you notice your child’s grades dropping and the teacher notices issues, it may be related to mood. This could be a good time to bring it up with the pediatrician. 

Puberty, Body Changes, and Sexual Health Convos

Whether it happens earlier or occurs faster, puberty has been linked to various emotional and behavioral risks in certain populations. That is why open conversations matter, especially as adolescence continues.

Comprehensive adolescent care includes confidential screening around sexuality and development.

The following areas of exploration are key to those ends:

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1. “What changes should I expect soon, and how can I discuss them at home?”
2. “Is my child’s physical development appropriate for their age and puberty stage?”
3. “When should I start age-appropriate conversations about body changes, consent, and sexual health?”
4. “What approaches work well for families to keep these discussions ongoing and shame-free?”

If your child is starting to notice body changes and seems self-conscious, it may come down to how you broach the subject. In this case, language and timing can be everything. 

So, discuss with your pediatrician ways to enter this territory in a non-threatening manner – they’ve probably seen it all!

RELATED: Birth Control 101: A Guide for Black Parents and Their Teens

Mild Vs. Severe Symptoms

We already discussed sicknesses and allergies, but what if you’re still not sure what to do? What if symptoms strike hard and fast? What if they don’t but seem to be hanging around or slowly getting worse? 

If this sounds familiar or concerning, consider posing the following questions: 

1. “Which symptoms can be monitored at home for a day or two, and which ones require a doctor call or urgent care?”
2. “Are there specific fever, breathing, dehydration, or behavior changes that are abnormal for my child’s age?”

These concerns can range far and wide, but one case may be when a toddler has a fever. If the temperature hits 102, and the toddler isn’t playing but is still drinking, how long should it be monitored before the child should see the doctor? 

Always err on the side of caution. Better to be safe than sorry!

Self-Advocacy That Actually Works

Your child will be seeing a pediatrician for a while, so it’s important to build a long-term relationship and a patient-centered communication style. 

Of course, doing this is not always easy, so last but not least, try airing the following concerns & questions:

1. “Can you explain that again plainly just so I can fully understand?”
2. “What should we do next, when should we follow up, and how do I reach out if things change?”
3. “Is there anything I’m not asking or watching that I should be?”

If you’re worried you’ll forget, or prefer to have things in writing, by all means bring a list with you. Take notes, ask for “a moment to write things down,” and don’t be afraid to ask for repeated clarification.

After all, this isn’t about you. It’s about your child, their health, their happiness, and their future. And by developing a meaningful, lasting partnership with your pediatrician, you can certainly make this happen!